I’ve had an absolutely massive day and I am incredibly knackered by the end of it. I’ve only just gotten back, and I think I pulled close to a 12 hour shift. I taught four classes today, finished marking one set of scripts and proceeded to co-teach a 2 hour remedial session. That’s 6 hours of classroom time and I am absolutely bushwhacked.

Today was not a day without it’s own fair share of surprises. All over the Internet, condolences were given to Steve Jobs. Job’s legacy goes beyond the company, Apple. It’s a legacy that introduced personal computers to mankind. Fast forward a few years, he spearheaded the charge into mobile devices with a viable ecosystem of users and developers, that it’s pretty much impacted how each and everyone of us uses a device to create and share. So for what it’s worth, thank you Steve Jobs. You will always be remembered as a visionary, a maverick, a pioneer, helping to bridge the twentieth century into the twenty first.

Today is also the absolute last day that I will be conducting any formal lessons of sorts. I’ll leave it at that till things become official, but suffice to say, my time as a teacher is coming to an end. I’ll probably do a bout of reflecting some time in the near future, but for now, I’m glad I did it, I learned a lot about myself as much as I was able to teach the students entrusted to me.

So now we wait. Mom’s still away in India, so I’ll be going out with Dad to meet my sister at Liang Court for dinner soon. Some family time will really hit the spot right about now. Although I’m a little too tired right now to have any real sense of excitement.

It’ll come soon enough.

Sister: Wah! Brian! You’re so fair!

Dad: Fair and fat!

Mom: No lah.. he’s lost some weight.

Dad: OK. Plump.

Me: (T__T)

I fully understand, that having a family that loves is truly a blessing, and that there are pockets of abuse, of any kind that go on in various homes, but I’m just thankful mine isn’t one of them, though it breaks my heart that as human beings, we really hurt the ones closest to us.

We can’t choose our families, we’re born into it, and we all have our idiosyncrasies as individuals. I always thought that I could reshape certain things about my family members that irked me, but I think that when you realise the small and big things that family will do for each other, you reshape your own perspective, to accommodate the uniqueness of each family individual.

For example, I’ve always thought my mother a bit of a nagger, but her intention isn’t out of hurt or spite, but in love. And I’ve had to learn patience to see certain things from her perspective. That’s just how she shows it, and when somebody’s intention is pure, you don’t really fault them, though you could if you wanted to. But that’s the beauty of it, by opening a channel of communication and not being irked at first instinct, we talk about what rubs us the wrong way, and two people can take positive steps to understanding people better.

People talk about how you can’t help with who you fall in love with, and I wonder, if by default we’re just supposed to love our families, regardless of shortcomings.

I don’t know, but love unconditional, even in the face of personal self doubt, failures, roadblocks, pain, anguish.. is not simply a ‘happy’ feeling. Sometimes, love hurts, but in the end, if the intent is to love, and better someone else, I hope it finds a way to pull through. Love is not a four-letter word, or simply an emotion.. it’s life, thought and deed. Slowly I’m learning, what it means to love in this day and age.