After everything, all the music, the bright lights, the plans, the dreams, the tasks, the recuperation, the people and the words, especially the words, because they are the last expression of my self to the world. I realise in the dead quiet of the night, when no one else watches, listens, reads or watches, that were it not for You, I would be all alone in this world. It’s true isn’t it? The way we express ourselves, stems from the terrifying fear of being alone. With our expressions, our applications, our identities, the elements we hold in our core, they really are screams out into the silence within our souls that we want to be held, embraced and even spoken to. I don’t know why today yielded such a nihilistic outlook, nor I do not think that there were any distinguishable experiences that caused optimism to crack. No. It was and always has been an amalgamation of good and bad experiences. These are the rules of life, there will be joy, and there will be heartbreak, no one is spared the rod. But tonight, I think I see a little clearer, with a little more poignancy, how we are all alone within our heart of hearts despite all the good things. Nor do I wish to discount the good things and people that happen in our lives, but regardless of how wonderfully majestic they all are, there is an eternal void that no transient element can fill. Memories fade, precious metals rust, emotions wane and people die. No, I stand convinced that knowing the eternal You, has been the one constant in my life so far, that allows me to treasure what transience we have and yet hope that I can still be embraced in the everlasting. I understand a little bit more, how You are there in the good, despite the bad, and most importantly.. How You stand with me along the crevice of the abyss, for I would have fallen in a long time ago.
February 10 2010, 1:58am | Original Link »
